"When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory,And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me..."
From the song "How He Loves Us"
Tonight at Young Life we sang one of my favorite songs: "How He Loves us." Though, as I listened to the voices of our beloved young life kids, the part of the song written above touched my heart in a new way. How beautiful that our afflictions- this cancer, the surgery tomorrow- are nothing compared to our Lord's glory and the marvelous plans He has for all of this. I needed to hear how much my God loves me. Sunday, at church, it was though the message was written just for me. God knew the exact words I needed to hear to comfort and encourage my anxious heart. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances..." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Oh, how hard it can be to be truly thankful in all circumstances. But what a sweet reminder I was given: that sometimes the things we don't have in this life are God's greatest mercies on us. Because the very things that cause us the most pain, also cause us to rely on our Lord in a whole new way. Trials lead us into the arms of our heavenly Dad. I have prayed so much for the Lord to take this cancer away, to heal me, to let us have another baby and all the while God has been saying "pray for more of me. Randi, I love you. All you need is me. I'm enough." Tonight, I am certain that God is enough. He is more than enough. I love how desperately I need Him. I love that He is in control, so that I don't have to be. I love that Jesus changed my life. I love that he continues to change me every day. I love that he considered me worthy to carry this cross. Oh, I love Him. So, when I think of all He's done for me and how He loves me, I can't do anything but Thank Him. I am thankful in this cancer, because it has driven me into the arms of my Savior. I am so thankful that these momentary afflictions are eclipsed by His Glory. Oh, How He Loves Us! I pray that you would know how much our sweet Lord loves you and that no matter what trials you are facing, that in them you would turn to the Savior instead of turning away from Him.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) at 11:30, I have to check into Baylor and the surgery is scheduled to start at 1pm. It will last about 5 hours. Dr. Grant will go in first and do the bilateral mastectomy and remove as much breast tissue as possible and hopefully all the cancer. Dr. Carpenter will follow and do the beginning stages of the implants. Please pray that they will have the skill and insight to remove all the cancer and then build me some new, beautiful breasts:) Pray that the hands of God will guide and direct them. I am so thankful to have them as doctors. I feel very confident in their ability.
For me [and Matt:)], please pray Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and his peace, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." I feel so peaceful tonight. I am not scared or anxious. I am in the grip of grace:) Please pray that this beautiful peace that transcends all understanding will continue to guard my heart and mind as we approach this surgery. I pray that in my weakness, God's strength will overwhelm me and that I will Thank Him for who He is even when pain and afflictions encompass me.
Thank you Friends for taking this journey with us. Thank you for all your sweet words of encouragement and for all your prayers. We are so humbled by it all. We love you so very much.
Joyfully in HIM~