Just Give Me Jesus

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 

Sweet Friends, 

   What a wonderful day today is! For many reasons, but one of them being that today is my 28th Birthday:) And like never before in my life, I feel so blessed to celebrate my birthday. I feel so privileged to have this day to praise God for the life He has given me. I have experienced more love and joy in the past 28 years than I can possibly explain. When I think about the blessings that God has poured upon my life, I am overwhelmed. There have been many hard days in the past 28 years; time periods I would love to forget, but oh my, the love that Christ has lavished on my life leaves me speechless! I am married to the best husband in the world, who I fall more in love with every day. We have the sweetest, most beautiful daughter who is just a ray of sunshine. I have family and friends who love me and care about me in ways I will never fully understand. But more-so, than all of these wonderful blessings, I have Jesus... who has proven over and over again to be my life's greatest treasure. So today, and everyday, that is so worth celebrating! 

For the past 2 days I have felt fantastic! Yesterday, it was nearly 80 degrees here, so McKinley, Trooper and I got to play at the park and enjoy the beautiful weather. It felt amazing to feel like me again:) Praise God for restoration of my health! Oh, how He answers the prayers of His beloved. The past 2 weeks have definitely been challenging; the seven days following chemo were probably the hardest physically of my life. Matt and my mom took great care of me, they made my most painful moments so much better. Not painful in the same sense as recovery from my surgery, it was just overwhelming in sickness and weakness. But friends, I felt your prayers and the strong arms of our Savior in a profoundly deeper way than I have ever before. In my  weakest of moments, where I didn't have the strength to do anything but lay still in bed, I experienced probably the sweetest times I have ever had in my life with the Lord. When there was literally not an ounce of my strength left, He showed up in such beautiful ways. He captivated my every thought, my heart's deepest desires, and in my stillness, I was just with Him... and I loved it. There was a song that played in my mind a thousand times that week, and the truth of it blessed my heart in inexplicable ways. Its called "Give Me Jesus" by Jeremy Camp. Close your eyes, listen to the words, be overwhelmed by its beauty....

Just give me Jesus. That's all. Oh, how I hate being sick and I hate chemotherapy, but I love that in my sickness, Jesus was literally all that I had; evermore all that I needed. I pray that would be my heart every single day: just give me Jesus. I pray that none of you will ever have to face cancer or go through chemotherapy, but I do pray that God will bring you to a place where Jesus is it for you. I count myself so blessed to be in this place where I know that the love of Christ is better than anything in this world. I want that desperately for each of you, because it really is the greatest thing on this side of heaven. :-) 

This Thursday is the day Dr. O'Shaugnessy says that I will lose my hair. If I let it fall out naturally, it will take about 3 days. However, I know there is absolutely no way I can go through the trauma of pulling out all my hair, so as soon as it starts to fall out, Matt and I are just going to shave it off. As I have shared with y'all before, that may be the hardest day of all of this for me. I know that for many of y'all, losing your hair doesn't seem like that big of a deal, and how I wish that that was true of me. But I love my blond hair, I love feeling beautiful and I am so scared to look in the mirror and be bald. I am crying right now just thinking about it. So, please on Thursday, pray for me. Pray that my heart would be so captivated with Christ that I would be okay as my hair falls out. Pray that as I look in the mirror I would know that my beauty comes only from the Lord: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4.  Pray that the mirror wouldn't say more than the Master. Thank you sweet friends for your prayers! Oh how I need them:)  I hope you all are having a wonderful weekend that you know how deeply loved you are!

Joyfully in HIM~

Rands